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| Ornrey P.... |
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| Her first Starbucks. |
Okay. So last night I posted this on facebook:
Okay, I'm deleting fb from my phone for a loooong while. (And Pinterest, twitter, etsy, Tetris, and a few others) if you need me you can email me, call or text me (because those I can't easily delete from my phone). My email is b******** my phone number is not 867-5309. Message my husband if you don't have my phone number and desperately need it. Instagram is the only social media I'm allowing myself. You can find me (and probably too many pictures of the girls) on Instagram @itsmebandi if you'd like. Otherwise I hope to see your face in real life.And I was surprised at the reaction I got. Primarily because, well, I don't post much on facebook. I'm mostly a lurker, and the frequent lurking is what was becoming an issue. I got a couple texts, and a few facebook posts, and one message asking me why.
I'm working to unplug. Putting it on here holds me accountable (for those curious). I'm tired of refreshing just for something to read. I'm tired of caring about everyone else's lives more than my own. I'm working on some perspective.
I'm working to unplug. Putting it on here holds me accountable (for those curious). I'm tired of refreshing just for something to read. I'm tired of caring about everyone else's lives more than my own. I'm working on some perspective.
First, I'm not deleting facebook. I should, but I'm not. I use it to communicate frequently. I feel like I need it for some things, still. So, it is staying. But it is gone off my phone. I'm not on my computer nearly as often as I'm on my phone. Getting it off my phone keeps me off facebook.
I'll still instagram entirely too often. It is my social media of choice. No politics. Minimal drama. Simple pictures. Watching my friend's kids grow. Good stuff. I might have to delete instagram, too if this initial purge doesn't quite cut it.
Here's what happened.
My sweet sweet P is and always has been a horrendous sleeper. She's up and nurses on average every 2 hours all night long. Seriously. We've tried lots to make it stop, but failed. Cosleeping doesn't work. She's still up screaming JUST as often. Patiently waiting for her to outgrow it hasn't worked. Gentle cry it out methods have failed. And over the last week she's started waking the entire house. Clay drives all day for work. His sleep deprivation was SERIOUSLY concerning. K's behavior was deteriorating because girlfriend was TIRED. And I was slowly spending more and more time on my phone and less and less time engaging with my children. "I'm just exhausted" was my excuse.
Yesterday, I was on my phone ALLLLLLLL day. All day. ALL DAY! How embarrassing. I was short with both girls to the point I had to put myself in "time out" for a couple minutes because I was being so outrageously unkind to my children. I was being unkind to a nearly 3 and nearly 1 year old. Seriously? What kind of model of Christ was I being? It was absolute chaos, and I couldn't peel myself away from my phone. I just couldn't. So I deleted everything.
The thing is, I've deleted stuff before, and then added it back when I was bored. I've skipped quiet time while waiting for an app to reload onto my phone.
Really bandi?
Really?
A stupid app OVER time with your Father?
Really?
So, I'm done, AND I put it out there for the "world" to know. I needed to step away from my addiction and engage with my children. I need to figure out what to do with P to get the child to sleep. I need my family to reengage with one another. I need to set down the phone and walk away and only check it a couple times a day. People can wait. My small people cannot.
I hope my friends will hold me accountable.
I hope they'll point out to me if I'm choosing my phone instead of my family.
I hope I can show my children they are a priority in my life. Definitely over my phone and the stupid things I was wasting my time on.
I hope to encourage those around me to do the same.
Feel free to follow me on instagram for updates about my children. Feel free to call text or email me. Feel free to point out my technological sins. You might hurt my ego, but you'll be helping me in the long run.
Love to you all!
Bandi
PS the 10 minutes I had to type this are over and I don't have time to proofread. Deal with it.
